"I followed my husband"

Over the last 3 years I have been repeatedly asked, "So what brought you to Dallas, Texas, the US?” The short answer is, "I followed my husband". The longer answer is, "My husband is a scientist and a scientific career can require that you try to work abroad at some point. We figured now was a good time and Dallas was the best available option for his career and us at the time." Both answers do raise my feminist hackles and I often feel like I need to justify my decision, my life and my career as a distinct being separate from my husband; "This was a good move for me too." My husband is the love of my life and my marriage is important to me, but I am an individual too.

I was a practicing lawyer, a legal career does not always travel well, unless you work for an international law firm, which I didn't and still don't. My bank account routinely regrets this but my heart never does! I have been fortunate in that I have been able to continue working in the legal and non-profit field. This has allowed me to face new challenges and develop skills in an environment I never imagined myself to be in. Although my career trajectory is not the one I may have envisioned for myself when I first started reading Law or when I first qualified as a Lawyer. The diversity, whilst not exactly financially rewarding, is both personally rewarding and challenging.

It is not all about the work, we have lives outside of work too. Again the challenges faced with making new friends, making a home and a life for ourselves have not always been easy. But we have developed great friendships which we hope will endure, wherever we all find ourselves in the future. We have had unique experiences which are not specifically "career" related but do add to our "fun and/or interesting stories." The conscious decision of moving to an English speaking country has of course helped with the, "settling in." Although sometimes the regret of not being forced to learn a new language does rear it's ugly head from time to time, maybe next time?

Amongst my new friends, Ms Jennifer Bradley, has been working on various projects relating to this area, including a really interesting recent project: Career and Work Life Issues for Expatriate Accompanying Spouse or Partners: A Brief Survey. I was lucky enough to be involved and I guess that is what got me started on thinking about how best to describe the last three years of my life.

Watch this space for a brief summary of Jennifer's survey. But for now, I will conclude this post with the following; on the basis of my own conversations with various friends and acquaintances, who are all, "accompanying spouses"; we all made the decision to accompany a spouse, for various reasons and the impact for all of us is very different. Often as, "the follower" it can take that extra step to re-assert ourselves as individuals with our own goals to follow. That extra step can be hindered by various factors (not all of our own making) but with confidence and an open mind; goals can be achieved. They may not be what we first had in mind but they can be important and valuable goals, nonetheless. I am reminded of John Lennon's often repeated quote, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." It is so perfect, and I would not have it any other way. Although, as always, I do reserve the right to amend this point of view, subject to future developments. Jigna.

PS: As promised, here is a link to Jennifer's website and slideshow presentation, "Work Life Issues for Expatriate Accompanying Spouses & Partner". Thank you Jennifer.